Review - Metalstorm - 7,5

Straight - pun intended - at the beginning of the new year, we bring you a review of the most phallic centered album of 2010 (apart from the porn grind bands everyone laughs about but no one listens to of course). Coming from the feminine footwear of Europe, Nanowar Of Steel have set out to tickle the jewels of true metal warriors around the globe, riding their ponies and swinging their bloodied tampons as they go. Exposing the cross-dressing tendencies of modern power metal, this is surely the gayest metal album since the latest Manowar release.

On their horny pink crusade they sing about the most lovely things, including, but not limited to: the homosexual exploits of a certain Luka Turillee [for legal reasons the reviewer is not allowed to voice his suspicions who the band is really singing about], girls who surprisingly turn out to have "more" than expected, seas of monarchical blood (the royal menstruation cycle), Italian things I do not understand but which I'm sure are really naughty and - I saved the most exciting for last - showers of gold. In addition to that they also made us some exciting, rather anal versions of classics such as Wonderful World, Another Brick In The Wall, some Rhapsody Of Fire songs and more.

Talking about the music, it was obviously composed to seduce burly, loincloth wearing men with markedly impressive chest hair growth. Apart from the aphrodisiac pheromone function it's not all too special though. Your standard power metal fare, the same kind of music the band is constantly making fun of. Not bad, but not amazing either and certainly not novel, that would kind of defeat the point of this CD.

In terms of pure humorist quality there are definitely better releases, but most of them aren't metal and aren't released by power metal bears, fairies, princesses, daddies, drag queens, twinks or sailors. On a more serious note: I believe that many metalheads really do take themselves, the music they listen to and the heavy metal image way too serious and I applaud any well-informed attempt at making fun of this 'phenomenon'.


ULTRA-IMPORTANT FOOTNOTE: I don't have any problems whatsoever with homosexuals and anything that might have sounded homophobic was not to be taken serious. However I love political incorrect humor, in fact it's my favorite. And if anything in this review personally upsets you, you now know that you shouldn't listen to this album anyway.

Interview - Jamendo

Combine humorous lyrics, limitless creativity and true heavy metal talent, and you’ve got Nanowar. The Rome-based metal band recently published their newest album, Into the Gay Pride Ride, on jamendo, which is their second album to be offered on the site. Their fans have had nothing but love for their new music so click here to listen for yourself, and read on to learn more about the band and laugh…

10 Questions with Nanowar

1. Describe Nanowar using five words or less.

Baffo: Tutorial

Gatto: Jinglebells

Abdul: Permafrost

Potowotominimak: Mild Aphrodisiac

UinonaRaider: Spazioblast

2. You are currently based in Rome – are all five members of Nanowar Italian? How did you meet?

Gatto: I am actually based in Madrid, the capital of Indonesia. My mother comes from Minnesota (Uzbekistan) and my father from Bogota, near Milan, from forefathers of south Swedish descent - the definition of my ethnicity is still quite problematic. We met tomorrow, at the funeral of Notorious B.I.G.

Potowotominimak: I’m from Azerbaijan, country of a thousand broken dreams, flowing away in an endless sea at the edge of self-confidence. We met in the backyard of Westminster Abbey.

3. The words to your music is humorous and very original – who in the group pens your lyrics and where do they draw their inspiration?

Baffo: My personal inspiration comes from my pulmonary respiration. This help me to stay alive - if I don’t do that, I’m gonna die!

Gatto: My inspiration comes from within, from the depths of my bowels. I get inspired every time I have lunch - after a few hours, the product of my inspiration comes to reality, sitting on a ceramic throne. That’s what I call “second hand food production.”

4. Are any members of the group involved in musical projects outside of the metal genre?

Abdul: Yes, I play in a band called “Steel of Iron of the Dragon Power Flame,” whose most known song is “Dragon of Iron of the Flame Power Steel.” Apart from this I write, sing and play my own songs recorded in my home studio, but it is not a metal project - just rock.

Potowotominimak: You can hear it in our album: I playstation.

5. You have been lucky enough to tour around Europe several times. Which is your favorite European city to perform in and which fans have the best energy at your shows?

Baffo: Switzerland, for the king, for the land, for the mountain.

6. Tell us about your new album! How is “Into Gay Pride Ride” different from or similar to your previous albums?

Abdul: It is different from the previous album, in the fact that it is not the same.

Baffo: About your new album! How is “Into Gay Pride Ride” different from or similar…sorry my mistake.

Gatto: It has mainly two different things: the cover and the title.

Potowotominimak: I’m proud of the new generations, which against all odds keep listening to our albums, despite the reactionary heavy metal lobbies, which are trying to boycott our art.

UinonaRaider: This new stuff is different, really. More snare reverb and guitar mid-pitch. Also new haircut!

7. Who comes up with the concepts for your album cover art and who actually draws them?

Abdul: Giorgio Armani.

Baffo: Leonardo Da Vinci.

Potowotominimak: Potowotominimak…this is a serious answer!!! :(

8. Do you have any upcoming tours planned or new videos in the works to support your new release?

Abdul: We planned a new video in the works to support the new release of any upcoming tour which will start tomorrow at 10 o’clock and will finish yesterday at 26 pm.

Potowotominimak: No, we haven’t.

9. How has the band evolved in the seven years you’ve been together?

Abdul: At the beginning we were all dinosaurs…you know how it ended…

Gatto: Yes, for example, when we started we all had long hair, now we cut them. Evolution = less hair (see e.g. monkeys and human beings).

Baffo: we evolved like “Pokemon evolution”.

10. What is one thing you’d like your Jamendo fans to know about the band?

Abdul: The secret is in the mozzarella.

Gatto: That there’s a secret button in Jamendo called “donate to the band”. Yes, you can actually do it!

Baffo: I don’t have pants.

Review - Metal Invader - 5/5

I could just write the titles of the 16 tracks (9 songs, 6 intro, 1 outro) of the 3rd album by NANOWAR OF FIRE and everyone would understand what album we are dealing with.‘Into Gay Pride Ride’ is an amusing album, nice to hear it if you want to have fun. I believe that's a great reason to hear music... They satirize all the clichés of true, epic, power and heavy metal. But as you can imagine MANOWAR and RHAPSODY OF FIRE are their favourites. What they do they do it in a unique way. They mocked with many other bands not only from the metal phasma. PINK FLOYD for example, has not been able to escape from the Italians. 'Odino & Valhalla' that is my favorite song is a mix of MANOWAR and RHAPSODY OF FIRE, PINK FLOYD's 'Another Brick In The Wall' with an epic bridge of ‘Lambada’ (yes Lambada!!!!) , with the theme song from ‘The Good, The Bad And The Ugly’ (ENNIO MORRICCONE) through the whole thing. Another highlight is the closing song ‘Karkangnor’s Song’ – ‘The Hobbit’ and ‘In The Forest’ – that it is a Blind Guardian hilarious parody. Even poser/glam bands are on target on ‘Surprise Love’, which is a parody of POISON and BON JOVI, together with a piece of Shaggy’s ‘Boombastic’.
    Completely humorous ‘Into Gay Pride Ride’ is much better than their 2 previous releases musically speaking. Top level power metal such as GAMMA RAY with a mix of everything is the only way I can describe it though! If you take yourselves to serious, you have a problem with NANOWAR OF STEEL. But that's the last you have to worry about.

ORIGINAL LINK

Review - MetalTemple

I bet no one is unaware of this humoristic act from Italy that goes by the name of NANOWAR. This band seems that was formed to have fun of the Power Metal scene having as main “target” MANOWAR. Now, Power Metal is a very “sensitive” scene, since the die-hard fans do not like anyone to mess with their favorite bands and hence, NANOWAR is an outlaw band for them. To be honest with you, even I am not one of those fans, I feel kind of awkward listening to all these parody bands that seem without a certain purpose of existence.

On the other hand, we should not take everything gravely serious and sometimes bands like NANOWAR can be fun. At least, these Italians are self-releasing their albums and in fact you can find them in their officially site available for free download. So, “Into Gay Ride Pride” is the band’s third album and the references to MANOWAR’s “Into Glory Ride” are in some extent disturbing. Nevertheless, leaving aside the broadsword and the shield, one can have fun this album. The songs walk upon the MANOWAR structures with galloping rhythms, almost RHAPSODY OF FIRE vocals (here the Italian language helps the most) and lyrics that can be fun in some extent. Like in “Blood Of The Queens” with the “What A Wonderful World” break and the “Battle Hymn” guitar solo that follows or in “Odino & Valhalla ” and the ‘lambada’ guitar melody where you can smile or even laugh during the first listening. But sadly, that’s all; the album can not stay in the cd player for long and can be a nice cup coaster, unless it is in mp3 format making the delete button looking quite tempting…

If you know this band and you like your Metal served with “humor” and you can deal with parody songs, then you should download “Into Gay Ride Pride” and have fun. I have to acknowledge NANOWAR for having their releases free for everyone who can handle them. Fortunately, this was just for reviewing… next please!

ORIGINAL LINK

Interview - Metal Covenant

Italy's own perverse Manowar and Rhapsody Of Fire parody persuaders NanowaR Of Steel did it, and they are back, and up our ass with their new album - 'Into Gay Pride Ride ' - a bevy of True Metal anthems guaranteed to dwarf the competition and have the listener pissing himself.

I willingly interviewed the band to promote their new album. Like Bill and Ted, these masters of pizza believe in being excellent to each other, and partyin' all day. Christ, you got have fun! With acts like Manowar losing momentum, these forest of mineral dwellers will have you harping back to better times, cracking a smile, a cold beer, and perhaps even calling the number of the bitch.

MettleAngel: The new album is awesome. This is what Manowar used to sound like in the glorious '80s.

• Abdul: Yes, we embody the power, and the spirit of the power, and the spirit of iron.
  

MettleAngel: You seem like Lich King with their verbose song, " Attack Of The Wrath Of The War Of The Death Of The Strike Of The Sword Of The Blood Of The Beast"! It also seems like you are heavily influenced by 'Kings Of Metal', even if the title of the album - 'Into Gay Pride Ride' - is a silly parody of 'Into Glory Ride'.

• Baffo: We are the Spirit of Metal! We are young, we are strong, we are not looking for where we belong. We embody words like Power, Metal, Steel, Iron, Onanism, Slim-Fast, New World Odor and BLOWJUMP!
  

MettleAngel: What the fuck is a BLOWJUMP! By the term onanism, I assume you mean withdrawal of the penis in sexual intercourse, so that ejaculation takes place outside the vagina; otherwise known as coitus interruptus.With Manowar running out of ideas, like covering "Heaven & Hell" after Dio died, and now in the studio re-recording 'Battle Hymns', do you feel the band embody the True Spirit Of Metal, even if you do it in a humorous manner?

• Uinona Raider: May The Steel be with you my friend, this is a poseur's question. Manowar rules now more than ever! Well...maybe... (Gatto): I totally agree with Uinona! ManowaR rock now more than ever. I think that publishing 45 triple DVDs, re-recording their older albums, then publishing new ones once every five years, and recording 23 times the same song in different languages, is indeed is a symptom of increased artistic inspiration.
  

MettleAngel: Surely you are being a bit sarcastic. With the success of acts like Steel Panther, Massacration, and Beatallica all poking fun at Metal, but playing with true talent and mettle hearts, how do you feel Nanowar Of Steel fits into this genre of spoof acts, all carrying the torch for Spinal Tap?

• Abdul: Our torches are our swords, and our swords are made of flesh. We shake them every night, holding them, proudly with our right hands.
  

MettleAngel: Is this because your metal is so strong, 'cos your dick are so long, dangling out of your true metal underpants?

• Gatto: Well, well, well, my friend, I have to tell you that we are indeed a serious band! We are really gay homosexuals and we do believe that singing "Metal Of The Power Of The Steel Of The Fight" is awesome, without any kind of irony.
  

MettleAngel: Fair enough, I suppose. The new album is very diversified musically. In the past you have explored other genres of music. Case in point, on the 'Made In Naples' release you had such songs as "Countrycycles Of Steel" with a Country / Western vibe, then you employed the Reggae style of "Poseur No Cry", and the very Extreme inspired "More Than True Metal Of The Words".

• Baffo: My body says let us go, but my heart say... let us go!
  

MettleAngel: Uh... Ok! On this latest release there are some poppy cuts, and the hilarious dance techno version of "RAPsody" which is basically a happening cover of Rhapsody Of Fire's "Emerald Sword" - a song you also mocked with the ridiculously funny song "Emerald Fork". Some detractors feel that the band is not truly Metal, and maybe even mocking Metal, surely this is not the case. Care to explain to those who just do not get it.

• Gatto: The case is as follows. Five jerk-offs from Rome once realized that they could combine the two things they loved most - Heavy Metal and Fun - into a single project called "NanowaR Of Steel". We play Heavy Metal and we have fun. If you do not get it, well, then there is a thick body of psychiatric literature on the consequences of having a low IQ. It is not up to me to go any further into that.
  

MettleAngel: So you are saying if you are not Metal, than you are mental?

• Abdul: This is not the case, in fact the case is not this! This is only a case, not a personal computer!
  

MettleAngel: I will assuage and pursue a different cause. I guess the fact is either you get it or you do not, right?

• Uinona Raider: Oh sorry I have no time to answer, for I am cooking.
  

MettleAngel: Do you mean that literally, or figuratively? What are you concocting?

• Baffo: Get it, in the ass!
  

MettleAngel: Back to my case of inquiry, Rhapsody Of Fire, Blind Guardian, Gamma Ray, and Helloween all have released new albums this year. Most of these bands actually had quality releases. New Virgin Steele finally does not sound like Manowar, and surprisingly neither does new Ross The Boss. You have teased Iron Maiden and Judas Priest, what do you think of the new Accept album? Even Eddie Trunk considers it to be the Album Of The Year.

• Gatto: Except for the negligible detail that I did not listen to it - I consider it awesome! (Abdul): Yes, it is wonderful! Tomorrow I will listen to it for the first time!
  

MettleAngel: Hopefully, you will agree with the consensus, and view it as a true comeback.

• Baffo: Our dicks have the flavour of chocolate and vanilla. Other bands... they just Suck!
  

MettleAngel: Ok, Tell that to the ladies, not me! Who are Odino & Valhalla? What is with the break in the song which sounds like Pink Floyd's "The Wall". Explain to me the verse, "Lead us to Valhalla"?

• Abdul: Valhalla is a station of our underground. In the lyrics we report a dialogue we had with the driver of the train..... seriously!
  

MettleAngel: Oh so now you are being serious! No, I understand, and that does make more sense, well except the music which is clearly a Pink Floyd homage.

• Baffo: Odin is a Dj! Fernanduzzo, and nothing else matters!
  

MettleAngel: That would explain all the DJ clips, and interstitials all throughout the album. Hell I even hear the Shaggy Boombastic reference. Why do you use faux names, and are you deliberately parodying the late Vicious Rumors and Ruffians vocalist Carl Albert and the actress Winona Ryder? What is with the name Gatto Panceri 666?

• Gatto: Ahahahahah this is actually the funniest thing I have ever read. Our singer's name is REALLY Carlo Alberto and I do not even know who the fuck Ruffians and Vicious Rumours are!
  

MettleAngel: How can you not know about Vicious Rumors from California? Their vocalist Carl Albert who played on 'Digital Dictator', the '90 self-titled release, and 'Welcome To The Ball' died in a tragic car crash in 1995. I am pleased to know that you are not mocking him, and this is Potowotominimak's actual name. As far as Winona Laura Horowitz, who gives a shit!

• Abdul: I hate that you did not mention my name in this question, so I will answer with "blodrertoeterofludde".
  

MettleAngel: Sorry, Mr. Mohammed Abdul! What does that term mean?

• Baffo: I have played the baton in the Original Soundtrack for the famous movie "Meet Joe's Black Bloc".
  

MettleAngel: If you say so! Let us discuss your lyrics. Your witty choice of words and phrases is so entertaining. Just watching the video for the song "NanowaR" says it all. The words in the song "Blood Of The Queens" following the "The Nanowarrior's Prayer" have me pissing myself. "Our metal is true, and true metal wins Leads us to fly on absorbent wings: 166 tampax are drowned in the blood of the queens". Obviously 166 is a reference to your song 'Number Of The Bitch". I noticed that you also reference famous composers like Chopin and Schopenhauer, and the famous philosophers Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel and Immanuel Kant on the super fast track "Stormlord Of Power". Are you well versed in existential philosophy, or do you just watch too much "Monty Python's Flying Circus"?

• Gatto: I just like people whose name are Friedrich Wilhelm. For example: Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Kaiser Friedrich Wilhelm, Friedrich Wilhelm Feuerbach, Friedrich Wilhelm Hitler...
  

MettleAngel: Oh I get it!

• Abdul: Change your slips quickly!! (Baffo): I thought to myself, "Sidestep the question!"
  

MettleAngel: DJames Bond, Mr. Baffo, you seem to be avoiding me. Gatto, tell me a bit about your educational background. I understand that you have a Masters degree in Theoretical Particle Physics, correct? So does this make you a Dr. Sheldon Cooper or Dr. Leonard Leakey Hofstadter from the hit TV sit-com "Big Bang Theory"?

• Gatto: I have never seen a single episode of the "Big Bang Theory". Yes, I do hold a MSc in Theoretical Physics, and I am enrolled in a PhD program in the same field of knowledge. (Baffo): I know only the "Gang Bang Theory" sorry! (Gatto): Moreover, I am fluent in six foreign languages, and I have sex with the most beautiful top models everyday. Only one of the above statements is a lie, guess which one.
  

MettleAngel: Well we all know what a stud puppet you are with the dudes, so I congratulate on your multilingual talent. What languages might those be? NanowaR should do a song in several languages like Manowar attempted, but make it a cool one like "Metal-La-La-La!" I wish I had a translation for "Lamento Erotico".

• Abdul: I have a degree in chestnut cloning!!
  

MettleAngel: What pray tell the fuck is that! Moving on, even though it would appear that given the delicate nature of the material found in the lyrics, and your attitude, it would almost seem that the band comes off as being homophobic. I know that you are not. I am sure you are just making silly, whimsical songs. After all with lyrics like "Our metal's so strong, 'cos our dick is so long..." or... "For the Power, for the Glory, For the movie "Toy Story", For the "Hell On Stage Live", And Eiffel 65! Fight! Fight! Fight!" one can see it is all tongue in cheek.

• Gatto: Even though I am deeply committed to the cause of the Serbian nationalism, I do not sympathize with that movement's view on homosexuality.
  

MettleAngel: That is good to hear. I cannot believe I just said both tongue in cheek and comes off together in that last statement!

• Abdul: Yes mighty warrior, we all had sexual experiences with our teddy bears, which we are proud of!
  

MettleAngel: No not your teddy bears! Your over the top stance is like the new movie "Machete". The violence is so intense and cartoonish, that is becomes good, clean, friendly, violent fun, which has you laughing in the aisles. Care to comment.

• Baffo: The last movie I have seen in a cinema is "Batman Begins"...to break the balls!"
  

MettleAngel: Was that with Heath Ledger or Mark Hamill? It is a well known fact that the band changed their name to Nanowar Of Steel when Rhapsody became Rhapsody Of Fire, mainly because Joey DeMaio screwed them over.

• Baffo: Sure, but if you can not lick your ass you are not a cat. This is the world man.
  

MettleAngel: Call me the carpet king, and I do not lick cats! My wife Wendy spoke with Alex Staropoli earlier this year, and the band is still not legally allowed to comment on this issue. Interestingly enough, none of the members of Rhapsody Of Fire are bothered by Nanowar, not even the much maligned Luca Turilli. Alex was more upset by the death of Midnight from Crimson Glory, than he was by your take on "Emerald Sword". Have any other of the bands you parody ever commented on your songs?

• Gatto: Our lawyer forbids us to talk about this. Or, better stated: if we said something explicit on this point, then we would have to hire a lawyer who would forbid us to release any further comment on the point. Therefore, the result would be the same - except for the lawyer's parcel. Is my point clear?
  

MettleAngel: Yeah, as you beat around the bush, like Rhapsody of Fire, you can not comment at this time. Do Steve Harris and Bruce Dickinson know about "The Number Of The Bitch". I am sure they would find it hysterical, unless Steve is playing too much tennis, over-exerercising his right hand.

• Abdul: For the next album we want them playing with us (and with our ass, of course)!!
  

MettleAngel: I assume that you are all fans of Star Wars given the reference to being "D Jedis of the Universe". Are you like me, and a child at heart who will never grow up? I am totally digging the "Clone Wars" cartoon and reading all the books.

• Abdul: I like very much Star Wars, my favourite character is captain Kirk.
  

MettleAngel: Oh I though it was Darth Spock!

• Baffo: Yes, my favourite is "Star Wars Episode VII: Chewbacca Goes Wild With Two Chicks!"
  

MettleAngel: What a Wookie, he eats and chews all that fine tail on Kashyyyk!

• Gatto: I love "Star Whores", expecially the point in which Luke Skywalker fists Princess Leia with his laser sword.

MettleAngel: Why would Luke use his light saber on his sister, when he has a fake metal hand, which probably vibrates! I am amazed how well the album is produced. The sound is so crisp. It blows away new Lordi, and they had Michael Waegner manning the knobs. How did you achieve this sound?

• Abdul: By playing.
  

MettleAngel: With your knobs, or your instruments? Does each member play of variety of musical instruments, besides the skin flute?

• Baffo: The mixer helped out too! (Gatto): Oh yeah, and Money also really helped.
  

MettleAngel: You actually have money? I though you spent that on your surprise love interests. You always allow free downloads of your albums, so how do you create your abundance? Does the band ever plan to tour outside of Italy? Would you ever consider coming to America, Neil Diamond style?

• Abdul: Yes, in the future we will make a tour to Lichtestein and we played Andorra yesterday! (Gatto): Looking ahead we have these dates confirmed: 12.11.2010 - Zuerich (CH), 13.11.2010 -Villach, 18.03.2010 - Torino, 19.03.2010 - Prato. Also, I will present the NanoNote (Nanowar's notebook) and 'Into Gay Pride Ride' at the Raven Metal Bar in Barcelona, on Friday the 19th of November.
  

MettleAngel: Holy shit that is my 42nd Birthday!

• Baffo: You hate us so much?
  

MettleAngel: What are you thinking? I do not hate you, but I do not love you like you want me to either.

• Gatto: I would like to make a tour of internationally unrecognized counties like: Kosovo, Taiwan, North Cyprus, etc. That would be awesome!
  

MettleAngel: Indeed it would be! Is the recording of the 'Naples' album really live, or just you guys playing with yourselves in the studio?

• Baffo: Yes! Dead would have been impossible!
  

MettleAngel: I mean did you perform it in front of a live audience, and then record it for your fans?

• Abdul: Yes, except the drums, guitars, basses, and vocals, of course... (keyboards are played live, but they are silent in all our concerts).
  
  

MettleAngel: That explains why I never hear the keeper of those seven keys. How might one purchase a copy of the new CD? Is there going to be a vinyl pressing? This will definitely be one of my favourite albums of the year, as Steel Panther was for 2009.

• Abdul: Sure, just go to our website www.nanowar.it.
  

MettleAngel: Why because NanowaR did it!

• Abdul: You can order it, or if you prefer go to a sexy shop, instead.
  

MettleAngel: Should I get more videos and hotter stuff of porn? What can we expect in the future from NanowaR? Are any more Metal videos being produced? You can keep your own gay porn for your own collection.

• Baffo: As I say, "Follow the White Rabbi".
  

MettleAngel: Is he a slick Jew filled with grace? Honestly, I would love to see you do a cool video for "Blood Of The Queens". Oh and just to be sure when the young lad says, "Grandfather who were those Women?", the proper response is that they are "The Metal Queers", or is it "Metal Queens"?

• Abdul: The response is, "Attack Kamchatka from Jacuzia with three tanks!"
  

MettleAngel: Oh I thought it was something else. I guess it gets lost in the translation, but the parody of Manowar is definitely there, even musically down to the last touch. If Joey ever finds out, you will beface his black arrow of death!

• Gatto: Who were those...They were the Spice T-Girls!
  

MettleAngel: Are they the ones who fly on 166 super absorbent Tampax pads?

• Gatto: In the sky!
  

MettleAngel: Just so you know, right after Happy Halloween, the unholiday season will be creeping in on us all. Will there be another festive Christmas with Nanowar? Will you be making any more snowmen shaped like Rob Halford, paying careful attention to where you insert the carrot. I can not believe Halford had a Christmas album last year! At least his new album 'Halford IV - Made Of Metal' is decent, and all new material.

• Abdul: Let us hope it is so! We are just waiting to again have Santa Claus fill our socks (see the lyric to know how)!!

MettleAngel: I know, because he puts in it his big fat Christmas cock....

• Abdul: Inside them we find the... inspiration for our Christmas songs.
  

MettleAngel: So this is where all the warm, gooey inspiration originates!

• Baffo: When you build a snowman with Rob Halford, you should hope he just eats the carrot if you do not see it.
  

MettleAngel: I will not be making an Judas Snow beasts! Guys, or should I say, gays, thank you for pulling my chain, and for having a bit of fun! The new album rules! I hope this interview brings you a wider audience, and more True Metal Fans. I will be reviewing the CD for the same site where I wrote the review for 'Other Bands Play, Nanowar Gay!' www.metalcdratings.com.

• Gatto: Thank You for your support!

ORIGINAL LINK

Review - Metal CD Ratings - 4,5/5

Nanowar did it! They have successfully created a masterpiece of over the top silly anthems. All shall love this mass menagerie of side-splitting surprises sure to satisfy any fan of Manowar or Rhapsody of Fire. If you have a taste for the near prurient and/or ridiculous humor in your music, then this is the band for you! Fans of Beatallica, Massacration, Weird Al, and even Steel Panther take note of these 5 homely mettlesexuals from Italy who play with their instruments in a manner sure to satiate any fan of true metal.

The most important fact to realize is that this merry band of gay and happy metal-la-la-laughter makers have made their new CD entirely available as a free download from their website. If you have not seen the video for the song "Nanowar", I highly recommend that you do so with haste. This song, replete with some of the most whimsical lyrics ever, is pure fun. Then, the ever raging "Stormlord of power" follows with its own climatic conclusion. This plowed metal fisting fury is sure to keep your mouth agape.

If it was not clear enough, Nanowar love classic Manowar. Personally, I have grown weary of the band and all the Manowar imitators. This once inspirational act have lost their momentum. Joey's tired and rude band is now re-recording 'Battle hymns', and why did they cover "Heaven & hell" as a tribute to Dio? Let us not even get into how badly Magic Circle Music screwed over Rhapsody! Thankfully new Ross the Boss and Virgin Steele both no longer sound like Manowar!

"The nanowarrior's prayer" aptly begins with, "Grandfather tell me a story...". This even flow triumphantly becomes absorbed by "Blood of the queens" a parody which will surely seal the deal, fill the hole, and stop the blood flow. Even though the CD title is clearly a play on the 'Into glory ride' suggestion, the music is much more along the lines of my favourite Manowar release - 'Kings of metal'. The lyrics for "Blood of the queens" are some of the funniest words I have read:

"For the Power, for the Glory,
For the movie "Toy Story"
For the "Hell On Stage Live"...
Our metal is true, and true metal wins
Leads us to fly on absorbent wings:
166 Tampax are drowned in the blood of the queens"

166 is clearly a reference to their spoof song "Number of the bitch". Just like their many war idols, these masters of pizzazz are careful to splice in several references to other past song titles and lyrics for good measure.

"Surprise love" is a little ditty sure to entice fans of glam and all who let their hair grow long, down there. This sweet crying game, trains ye heart and mind to keep one eye open for any stray chickens who claim to be dames in distress, or is it cross-dress?

"RAP-sody" is nothing more than a club mix of Rhapsody's own "Emerald sword" - a song where Nanowar previously practiced heightened raillery with brilliant persiflage in the song "Emerald fork" - thus commenting on the folly of the fast food industry. Obviously, they have not learned their lesson to avoid all these fatty foods, lipids, polysaccharides, and excrescence; because, they have written a 2-part ode to indigestion with "Karkagnor's song" thus creating their very own Bard's swansong of reverse peristalsis and gastrointestinal evacuation. Those fu*king Happy Meals have cursed them again!

I should let you know that Nanowar like to mix many styles of music in their songs, and the DJedi interstitials all throughout, may annoy some. Given their mettle milieu, though I can see why they would want to do this. Once again they have songs in their native language, as well.

On their live CD 'Made in Naples' they had the song "Countrycycles of steel", a Country/Western take on Queen. In the middle of "Odino & Valhalla", they break into Pink Floyd's "The wall" with a direct quote from their underground train conductor leading them to Valhalla - an actual destination en route.

I recently interviewed the band for Metal Covenant, and they truly have a sense of mirth, and do not take much too seriously. As Gatto Panceri 666 plainly states: "Five jerk-offs from Rome once realized that they could combine the two things they loved most - Heavy Metal and Fun - into a single project called "Nanowar of Steel". If you do not get it, well, then there is a thick body of psychiatric literature on the consequences of having a low IQ."

There you have it, so why not triumphantly treat yourself to some true miraculous metal, and flourish with the essential minerals. For these are more than words of wisdom, they are the legacy of powerful minds. There is no need to digitally steal, because with these epicene warriors everything is about freedom. 

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